The Fables of the Apocalpyse
by ClockworkScarecrow
Summary: A collection of stories based around the zombie apocalpyse. May the story be tragic, funny or heart warming, it will eventually become a fairytale in a world of zombies.
1. Story 1: The Miller Boy and Pink Rabbit

Story Number One: The Miller boy and the Pink Rabbit.

Another day, another town to ''clear out''. It's been a long time since this infection thing spread, yet the zombies keep coming. I hate this job, I really do. My Daily plan?

Step one: Wake up, eat shitty rations (provided by CEDA).

Step two: Get dumped in a random town with folks who have the mugs of dead cows, smell like a toilet after a college frat party and vomit black stuff like ballerinas.

Step three: Shoot all dead cow-faced, frat party toilet-smelling ballerinas with a shotgun and steal/collect their possessions if they have any. Then again money and jewelery is as worthless as toilet paper in a zombie apocalypse.

Step four: See any normal people and bring them back to the base. Shoot any who retaliate, if they are immune and carrying they get put into quarantine with me and some others.

Step five: Eat more shitty rations, take a shit, talk to other normal people and sleep.

Rinse and Repeat.

I got recruited by CEDA a few months back just before the infection started, I only signed up just in case I got to go to a foreign country for a war, fighting in a rain forest sounded awesome at the time. But no, I had to go be the clean-up crew for humanity, kill off those who lost their morality and not supposed to ask questions. To hell with CEDA, the fuckers knew that this kinda thing was gonna happen and even when it did, all they did was sit on their asses and give low lives like me a gun.

And of course, the food taste like toothpaste made of fish. I actually sneaked an entire bag of frozen burgers back to the base one mission and got praised as a god of the apocalypse.

I had a decent life, my Ma raised me by herself with my little sister. I was the funny guy in my school, loved making people laugh and squirt milk outta their noses while doing so. I don't really know how to read, got recruited during my freshman year in high school and I simply pushed out anything that didn't involve guns or zombies. I can't even remember my name anymore, I think it's ''Miller'' or something and I'm supposed to be sixteen next year , but I ain't certain.

I got infected during the Senior Prom, I snuck in to snag some food and retrieve gossip for the girls in my year (weird how they always needed something to talk about) and got the lead of the cheer leading squad's attention.

She kept telling me that I was adorable and stroked my chin. Then for a laugh she kissed me in front of her friends, apparently it was all for a dare. Sweet deal if you asked me, until she then bit a chunk out of my face and vomited blood and black stuff on my improvised tuxedo. Fun.

I almost passed out from fear. Only me and her friends noticed what happened, the other kids ignored us and kept dancing to bad 90's pop songs. I literally stumbled out of the place while the cheerleader started screeching and pouncing at people, taking even more chunks outta them.

When I got to my street, the entire place was flooded with ambulances and police cars, I guessed that maybe there was a fire or a gas leak. Everyone was rushing into any car or form of transportation they could find, I got shoved and pushed a few times and then I passed out.

I woke up a while later in a hospital bed, at least that what it looked like until i noticed that the doctors were wearing hazmat suits like you'd see in radioactive plants. I was really tired and my mouth tasted like metal, morphine most likely. Docs said that me and my mama were sick with something, I tried asking if they had Little Sister but I got no answer from anyone.

I got hit with some bad news after my chin and left cheek healed from being a cheerleader's late night snack, Mama's condition went bad. She started vomiting when ever she ate and her hormonal system started acting up. Then mama started vomiting blood and having a craving for human with fava beans and a glass of nice chianti. She bit one of the nurses and was tied to the hospital bed next to mine, then they shot her...they shot my mama in her head. Her eyes were gone and her teeth were everywhere, I even saw her brain. Needless to say, I freaked and started crying, I wanted my mama, I wanted my sister and I wanted to know what was going on.

After an angry argument with a commanding officer I was recruited into a special group of soldiers, people who got bit and were immune to the infection like me. Most were dudes and others were young girls, I guess that the immunity is a father based gene (finally something to thank dad for) and at least repopulating won't be a problem.

I can still remember Mama's and Little Sister's faces, how Mama always made cookie dough when I got sad and my Little Sister's cuddly toy she called Rabba, a weird pink rabbit toy I won in Elementary school at a carnival stand and gave to her for her birthday. She'd wake me up by putting Rabba's nose to mine and saying

''Rabba is gonna kiss you if you don't get up.''

I was always tempted to burn that pink bastard but Little Sister treated that the damn thing was like her only friend and never let go of him.

I hope she never did.

''Cadet Miller!'' my commanding officer yelled loud enough to burst all eardrums in the room and ground the windows into dust.

''Yes sir?'' I sat up and saluted, it was almost a reflex when your in the military.

''Are you slacking off again?''

''No sir!''

''Well then go get your ass and your high heels to the jeeps! We're stopping in Savannah.''

''The terrain or the town sir? I doubt the existence of zombie cheetahs.''

''Humorous banter Cadet, try using that on zombie audience, see how many tomatoes and body parts get thrown at you on stage.''

So I got geared up along with my team mates, some other cadets who had too much time on their hands. A few of 'em are shaking in their boots, I see one or two new faces in the squadron, poor bastards are gonna get a nasty surprise. Alright here it is man, your the Captain, the Commander, the leader of the most dangerous threat to the zombie ecosystem.

You are the King of the Apocalypse Miller boy, destroy the scourge of your kingdom .


	2. Miller boy and Pink Rabbit part 2

Part 2

Sneak, sneak...sneak sneak...sneak sneak CRUNCH!

''Fuck.'' I mutter to my team mates. We were supposed to evade a much more idle pack of zombies but one of the new recruits stepped on something.

'''SCREEAAAH!'' a female zombie yells to the others, as if they were like dogs or monkeys. About twelve of the fuckers start rushing at us, they all get a decent bullet or a machete in their heads while the rest scurry off into the alleyways.

''That children,'' I lectured, putting on a high British accent. ''Is why we mind our shit while zombie hunting.'' the two younger cadets started giggling like schoolgirls, not expecting humor in such a situation.

''Miller! We're supposed to be a hardened military force, not a sitcom.'' one of the more serious cadets hissed at me, practically dripping venom with each word.

''Aw come on Oldie, we need a jester among the great court of idiots and warmongers.''

''Well the Jester needs to battle a great foe. Black Knight of Crying Women is between the garbage cans over there.''

As much of an downer Oldie is, his ability to spot witches without much sound is remarkable. Apparently the old coot was a sniper for a good portion of his military carrier and resigned just a week before the zombie outbreak. He's got a badly cut head of red hair, his mustache looks as if it could come to life and start killing zombies it self, he's got a grimy old flannel shirt that looks more fitting in a 50's musical than as soldier attire.

Despite being the funny guy, I know even to keep down around a witch, them things can take down a guy with just a few hits, even just one if she hits the right spot. I think they're all girls because they were either on the rag or their hormones went out the window during the infection.

''Hey why is she crying? Is she a survivor?'' the Girl of our squad asked me. She was kinda plain looking and ditsy but she lightened up the missions.

Luckily Glasses took descriptive duties. He's the smart guy, kinda cocky but really religious and pretty damn clever after a few hours wandering around the research lab back at the base.

''Rabidly changing hormonal state during infection caused her to become highly depressive and easily provoked. Her kind are called Witches, they are sound sensitive and-''

''Quite Glasses! Your rambling could set her off- oh shit.'' Oldie managed to whisper, as the white-haired lady got up from her resting place and turned her red eyes to Glasses.

''RAPID FIRE!'' I yell out, setting my rifle in the witch's direction. Before any of us could reload she knocked Glasses onto the ground and started scratching at his arm. I drove my machete straight into her head while the others shot her a few times. Once she was dead, I pushed her off Glasses and bent down.

''You okay man?'' Of course he wasn't okay, his hand was missing a finger.

''Oh sweet lord this hurts!'' he seethed, trying to put pressure on his hand, the finger stump was giving a small gush of blood and the poor guy's skin had become porridge-grey with fear.

''It's okay man, your gonna be okay, you just need a med kit and get back to base early okay?'' I tried to calm him down. I started breathing heavily as Oldie started bandaging up Glasses's hand, the air was getting musty and damp.

''Oh fuck no. Not now...''

Needless to say it started raining on us.

''FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!'' Oldie swore to the sky.

Rain was a pretty big nuisance while hunting, it impaired your sight and the zombies were a lot more inclined to be in buildings.

''Come on, there's a safe room up ahead. We'll send out an SOS to base and continue tomorrow.'' Glasses stated, trying to lift his mummified hand.

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The safe room was the playroom of an old daycare center. Multi-colored playing mats and toys scattered everywhere was getting to most of us.

''So um...'' The Girl tried starting up a conversation, she looked like she was going to cry any second. ''Did any of you had family before all this?''

''I have my mother and father, but we crashed our car trying to evacuate and they got hurt really bad. CEDA told me that if I work for them that they would get free health care.'' Glasses started to mumble while staring at his bandaged up hand.

''Huh. My folks were dead long before this whole thing. Dad smoked so many cigarettes that his lungs gave up on him. My Ma had a heart attack about two years ago. I was stationed in Afghanistan at the time so i didn't hear of it until I resigned. My sister has family up in Montreal so I haven't a clue what happened to her.'' Oldie took a puff of his cigar like a drunk takes a swig of whiskey.

''What about you sweetheart?'' I ended up asking The Girl.

''I'm the youngest of my family. I have...two sisters now, my dad and my mom are having my little brother in a few days. My twin was caught up during one of the riots and the helicopter left her there.'' She wiped her face with her sleeve, her eyes had become puffy and sore-looking.

''Your Mama's having a baby?'' I lit up, this was quite a surprise seeing how half of the populace were half-dead.

''Ye- yeah. Mom and Dad decided because of the infection, that they'd do their part and have another baby. Help regrow the populace you know? She's supposed to go into labor in about a week.'' she was staring at all of the cuddly toys on the floor, picking up one or two to hold for comfort.

''Wanna take some of these toys back to them for your brother?'' Oldie asked, taking the cigar out of his mouth.

''I shouldn't really. I think I might be disrespecting all of the kids who lost their toys.'' the toy in her hand seemed very familiar...

''Does that rabbit have a blue ribbon on it's neck that says 'Rabba'?'' I got a bit closer, my eyes were starting to water at the sight of pink fluff.

''Yes... how did you know that?'' The Girl looked at me like if I was a physic or something.

''Cus' my little sister's toy rabbit had that.''

She passes me the pink rabbit without hesitation. It seemed much smaller now than before. I wonder what happened to my sister, why did she let go of her Rabba?

I held Rabba's plastic nose to mine muttering ''Wake up or Rabba's gonna kiss you...''

The others were close to crying as I started to descended into a blubbering wreck.

''So what is ya'll's names?'' I splutter, hugging my new best friend tightly.

''Oh! Um, mine is David O'Brien. I'm supposed to be in college,I really miss having roast dinners and I have a cat back at base who's getting vaccinations.'' Glasses straightened himself up, trying to ignore my slight bout of insanity.

Oldie looked at us like we were completely mad.

''On the battlefield your not supposed to get close with your team mates in case they get killed.'' he

droned a bit before deciding ''My name is Harold Lencher.''

''My name is Daisy Zuckerman. I really want what's best for my folks and I want my baby brother to grow up in a world without having to carry a rifle in his hands.'' The Girl sniffled.

''What about you Miller? Don't you have a first name?'' Oldie joked, giving a scowl when he realised that his cigar had gone out.

''I'm...I am...I haven't a clue.'' I replied. The other had pure disbelief on their faces.

''What do you mean 'you don't know'? Surely your parents called you something!'' Glasses, now known as Dave, retorted in a confused manner.

''For one, I lived with my mama. She always called me Sweetheart and called my sister Sunshine. My teachers only knew me by my last name. I haven't I fucking clue what I'm supposed to be called other than just Miller.'' I started to get pretty angry at them.

''I saw CEDA shoot my Mama's face because she got infected and I wanna find my Little Sister. All I've got now is her damn pink rabbit!'' I started crying my eyes out while hugging Rabba to my chest.

The others realised that they hit a bad subject and started patting me on the back.

* * *

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It took the helicopter about six hours to arrive, Oldie had to yell at the walkie-talkie in order to get somebody to fly us out.

We were all silent on the way back. The pilot tried asking why I looked like I had seen death but shutted up when he noticed the pink rabbit.

The commanding officer didn't even say anything as I walked into the break room and placed Rabba on a couch pillow, making sure that his ears didn't get in front of his eyes.

After about a minute I asked Daisy,

''Where are your parents?''

''They're in the third room on the right.''

To my surprise I found two young women outside the door, looking very worried.

''What's wrong?'' I asked, still clad in my hunting gear.

''Our Mama's gone into labor and we can't find our little sister.'' The older of the two panicked.

''Daisy is down in the break room. We got held up during today's mission.'' I replied, taking the girls by their hands.

Daisy was absolutely ecstatic that her brother was being born, but I could see a hint of sadness in her eyes.

I stayed in the break room for a few hours, I ate some food, checked on Glasses and cleaned Rabba.

Looking at the pink bastard I started thinking.

''Little Sister's best friend has no one to play with. Rabba needs his best friend.'' I say to the toy, walking towards the hospital bay.

I knocked on the door and saw a very ruffled man, a nurse, a very tired woman and the baby she was holding in her hands. There I saw the three sister's look in disbelief as held up a toy for their new brother.

''I heard that your baby was being born and I wanted to give this to him.'' I showed the pink rabbit to the mother, her face was beaming with happiness.

''Why do you want to give him it Miller? It's all you have left of your life.'' Daisy asked, tears almost pouring out.

''Guns don't make good children's toys Daisy. Rabba is gladly not a firearm.''

The family shook my hand a few times while the baby stared at his first ever toy, cooing in excitement as if he would never let the pink rabbit go.

I hope he never does.


	3. Tale of Amelia Fred

Fables of the apocalypse

''Tale of Amelia Fred''

Here's the tale of Amelia Fred

A kindly woman who ate some bad bread

One morning she awoke with a pain in her head

In the bathroom she finds,

something that snaps her mind

she's become a walking undead

Stumbling to the kitchen down the stairs

her brains splatter the dining chair

a soldier pumped her full of lead

So children always remember Amelia Fred

Who turned zombie and was shot in the head


	4. The Hunter's Gulid

Myth of the Apocalypse

Hunter's Guild

During the time of the zombie armies and the great gun fights, the Hunter was one of the most intelligent zombies.

They stalked their prey rather than attack frontal assault and were very good climbers.

Unfortunately they were terrible at working together.

One day a baby miraculously survived being turned into a hunter and was adopted by a group of wild dogs. As the young hunter grew, he started to become more and more interested in his anti-social city counterparts.

Over the course of a few months, the feral hunter banded a small team of hunters and began a pack. Sadly for his new companions, he would only hunt animals rather than humans or other zombies. As the pack of feral hunters grew, the Alpha began to become lonely and longed for a mate. Seeing how his pack was made of male hunters, they all set off to the city to find mates.

Spitters spewed acid, Boomettes vomited, normal zombies they found too stupid for procreation and as for witches they never bothered to go near.

As the Alpha was soon to give up hope, he found a lone female survivor.

After gaining her trust by providing food and protection, the Alpha took the female to his pack.

Afterwards the two were blessed with pups. The offspring were very odd, being almost entirely human but with a feral appearance. Long noses, sharp-featured eyes and ears with prolonged canine teeth, they were almost completely indenticle to normal hunters.

Many years on, the male hunters brought back human mates and bred hybrid children, soon their zombie genes were almost obliterated.

After the war ended though, the hunter pack had to give up their feral nature and adapt to the newly formed human towns and cities.

They still keep a well organized council even to this day. If you listen closely at night, you may hear the dog-like barks and howls of the Hunter's Guild, out reliving their zombie heritage.

It is even possible for your family to be one of them. Don't worry, they won't devour you – yet.


End file.
